The International Seafood Show is surreal. A bizarro combo of sea critters and commerce, it takes place at the cavernous Boston Convention Center, which I visited last week while in town to be interviewed for a documentary film at the nearby New England Aquarium.

On display was this machine called the “Shrimpster.” I’m having a hard time believing that a member of Hell’s Angels, say, would ever be caught dead on something called the “Shrimpster.” If being The Lobster Man had made me rich, I would own one of these and would ride it around the country like Alton Brown to the various speaking engagements where I entertain audiences with my tales of lobster romance, but I would need a different name for it. Perhaps the “Lobster Chopper”? Suggestions?

There was also a fish motorcycle, as well as 35-year-old live lobsters, life-sized stuffed polar bears, seafood jewelry, and the lobster equivalent of Han Solo encased in carbonite, all of which you can check out in my photo album from the show.